De musico, poeta, y loco, todos tenemos un poco

betterxdaughter @ 2008-12-28T16:39:00

2008-12-29T00:46:12Z

hi. I've made a new lj account. Felt like I wanted something new!

It'd be nice if you all followed me over here: arde_elcorazon

betterxdaughter @ 2008-12-27T02:03:00

2008-12-27T10:03:20Z

i don't normally hate on any artist that's out there, but i seriously detest Lil Wayne. calls himself the best rapper alive? please. -you're shit.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

2008-12-25T07:43:46Z

Hi. It’s Christmas Eve [duh! :p]. About to be Christmas in a few minutes. I am alone in my room with the lights on, computer on [obviously] and the tv on as well. I clearly don’t care about the environment all that much. My old best friend left a few minutes ago with her boyfriend. He is a good guy. He gives the best hugs! I think I could spend a long time hugging him and not feel awkward. Frank rocks. Hmm.

It seems like most of my livejournal friends aren’t around anymore? Ahh. I miss some of them. I’ve had an “e-friend”, Gabriel, for… 5 years now and it amazes me how we’ve never met in person and yet we care for each other very much. Well, I care for him and I’m pretty sure he cares for me as well. We’ve only talked over the phone a few times. Weird, huh. I wonder what he’s doing now. I hope he’s spending it with his family. Or someone he loves. He’s a lonely guy too. I think that’s why we’re such good friends. We understand solitude.

I’m not even depressed. -It’s just that it’s Christmas and it doesn’t feel like it in my house. It hasn’t for a long time. Not since my older brother Gus moved out. I miss him, still. One of my other brothers, Junior; stopped by yesterday with my niece Hailey. If you’ve been on my friends list long enough, you might remember how happy I was when she was born. I hardly ever see her. I think I have only seen her maybe four or five times since she’s been born. She’s three now. Anyway. She wasn’t too shy and was hanging out with me and coloring in my room. Hehe.

I’ve been working at the library! I got the job. I’ve been working there for probably one month now. It’s pretty cool. I still don’t know some things and that’s because they assume I do. I’m getting to know the workers a little more. It’s not so awkward anymore. They’re all real nice people. They bake cookies and bring them in. Neighbors also bring in candies and goodies for us workers. Such nice people. I had no idea about all the shit that goes down. Hehe. The back, is a mess sometimes! I love it best when it’s kind of empty and I grab a chair and pretend to shelf read [although I do shelf read 99% of the time] and just read! We’re not allowed to read during working hours! Hehe. Like today for instance, I was reading up on Hyenas. Apparently the female Hyena and the male Hyena look almost identical. And to make things more “twisted” is that the female Hyena is actually bigger and more stronger than the males. They basically bow-down to the ladies! :p

Sometimes I feel that nobody at work likes me and that I’m too weird. All I hear in my head is Jessica saying that, “You’re fucking weird, dawg!” But eh. The more I think of it, all the staff there is kinda weird. But I like them. I feel so guilty and lazy for not doing any holiday cards for them. I really even wrote down what I was going to write for each of them and how I was going to decorate it for them. *sigh* Damn this cold weather makes me lazier!

Well, I hope you all have happy Holidays! =]

betterxdaughter @ 2008-12-23T08:33:00

2008-12-23T16:34:17Z

damn you Beyonce! You make me wanna shake my thang all the time! :p

betterxdaughter @ 2008-12-10T09:21:00

2008-12-10T17:51:15Z

I feel so depressed after the car accident. I'm not even sure if I'm depressed...there's just something wrong with me. Mentally and emotionally. I must have slept... 12 hours. And to be honest, I want to go back to bed again.

story:

I had to buy a x-mas present for work and Jessica said she'd take me. I was going to go on the bus, but complained about how cold it was, and she insisted on taking me. So fine. I waited and waited. I was waiting so much that I was dozing off to sleep. I was about to call her and tell her to forget it, I'd get the present on Monday night. As soon as I picked up the phone to dial her, she was honking outside. -I jump in the car and it felt eerie being in the car with her because I've never been in a car with her driving. It was all weird. It was dark and cold outside and her face looked all shadowy [is that even a word? who cares.]. So we're in a hurry because her Mom didn't want to lend her the car & only gave her like 30 minutes or something. She's driving & making weird noises like we're going to crash and my nervous feelings kinda go away because I start thinking that she's such a dumbass.

We fill up the gas tank because whenever she uses the car, her mom makes her fill it up. -we go to Target and get our stuff rather quickly and as we're driving back home, she drove down a different way & I did ask myself why she was driving that way, but I didn't ask because I figured she was going to her house to drop off the car or something. Anyway. As we're driving down [you wont believe it, but i can still see, feel & hear it.] the street, this car didn't stop and crashed into us.

The thing was that I saw him.. and I was going to tell her, "wait. he's not going to stop" and as soon as I opened my mouth, he crashed into us. I swear, the minute he hit us, I felt so responsible. I thought of her Mom and how she's going to be so pissed off at her. It's so weird. I felt I should have yelled at her or just gone on the bus. I feel like it's my fault. Anyway.

We crash and she turns to me and asks if I'm okay & I'm in complete shock and somehow manage to whisper "yeah. are you?" I had my hands covering my face the whole time. kinda like OMG OMG OMG! She somehow kicks open the door and asks the guy if he's okay & she thought someone died, and i was freaking out like, "WHO DIED? OMG!" They want me to go to a doctor, but I feel fine. My chest just hurts a little. or a lot.

I'm just sad.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-12-08T00:59:00

2008-12-08T09:00:48Z

Jessica and I got into a car accident. we're both okay. -i'm just so shaken up.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-12-04T21:59:00

2008-12-05T05:59:54Z

So today, I busted out singing some old school Too $hort & my good friend Anabelly started laughing & said, "You are such a trip. You don't look it at all, but you're so hardcore!" LOL -she's right. i look like a clueless little bitch, but I'm from East L.A. don't ever forget it.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-11-30T15:36:00

2008-11-30T23:39:09Z

when shit goes down, when I'm sad, when I fail a class, when I lose a friend, I haven't talked to him, when I'm sick, all I really have to say is:

♥

betterxdaughter @ 2008-11-26T10:45:00

2008-11-26T18:46:14Z

the next time it's windy & raining real hard, I am going to let my umbrella fly away. -i've always wanted to do that. not my real umbrella though. i ♥ it too much.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-11-20T20:56:00

2008-11-21T04:57:50Z

i fucking hate relying on others. like, i hate not having my own car because whenever we go out, i have to wait for them to pick me up. i can't leave when i want to leave. i've been waiting for... 30 minutes. they go on at 9:45. there's always traffic down Sunset Blvd. *sigh*

LOL

2008-11-09T19:13:43Z

betterxdaughter @ 2008-11-06T11:16:00

2008-11-06T19:25:29Z

i went to a job interview yesterday & I think I got the job. i applied in this library just for the hell of it about two months ago. And they called me last week and asked if i was still interested in the job, and then gave me an interview for Wednesday. So I went and it went pretty well I think. They told me that if I got the job, they'd call me by Friday... there was another female there being interviewed before me, and I started doubting myself because.. that's the kind of lame person I am, I guess lol.

so anyway. after she left, it was my turn to go in.. i went in there & one of the managers, made a comment on how I'm a "regular" there at the library. LOL I sure am. I love libraries. Anyway. I got nervous, you know? They asked me questions and I answered them as best as I could. I really wanted to be a clerk, you know? Putting books back, etc. But I think they're going to put me to help children with their homework.

It sounds ideal because I want to be a teacher, right?! It is great, but what if I suck? I kind of laughed though because I'm nervous about this and I help everyone I know with their homework. "college" h/w. [Somehow I'm convinced that it's not real college work because it's community college lol.] So after the interview I went to Lupe's house even though I didn't really want to. I wanted to go home, but I still went over and we hung out.

When I got home, I saw that Cindy [one of the managers that interviewed me] left a message saying to call back asap. So what does this mean? I don't know. I hope I get it. I'm just nervous about being a horrible tutor. Especially if the kid has like math problems. haha.

I'm so failing math right now... makes me doubt myself even more. We'll see though. I'm going to give her a call right now. After I eat.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-11-04T22:51:00

2008-11-05T06:52:39Z

i'm so happy. wow. i can't believe he won. this is amazing.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-11-02T10:01:00

2008-11-02T18:03:54Z

i just saw a hummingbird! i always stop whatever I'm doing when I see one.

I'M ON A RIOT!

2008-10-22T20:11:25Z

I've made several flyers for this band The May Fire because they're playing here in L.A. on Oct. 27th! Check them out:

there's more down here:

this one is my least favorite, but whatever!:

http://www.myspace.com/themayfire

betterxdaughter @ 2008-10-22T11:42:00

2008-10-22T18:42:32Z

there's always a homeless man asking for money right off the exit of the freeway & the other day as I was riding the bus, I was looking at him & saw that a man driving a big rig gave him his leftover food. The man in the wheelchair was very happy.

It was just a nice moment to catch when no one else noticed.

las calaveras te van agarar!

2008-10-20T20:32:54Z

I had fun on Saturday!!

that's Lupe & I. We went to Uptown Whittier for El Dia de Los Muertos fair. We saw UPGROUND play & we ate tacos, pizza and I bought myself the coolest hair pin.

it's supposed to be Frida [Kahlo]. It was $10, but I bought it because it's handmade and it's very detailed! Even the flowers in her hair look great. Her earrings are supposedly sterling silver? I dunno. Either way, I love it! :D

And of course; the real reason I went was... to see UPGROUND play! :p

that's Aaron & Eric.

this is Tony. -he's kind of new to the band.

yeah. kind of blurry!

Aaron, Eric, Danny & Adolfo.

E/V and Joe.

I didn't take many pics because as you can tell they were coming out blurry & it was dark. I took videos though. The sound was a little weird. They were real good, but the tech guys didn't know what they were doing!

I'll upload the others laterrrrr!!

Enjoy: Sol Azul by UPGROUND

betterxdaughter @ 2008-10-15T14:16:00

2008-10-15T21:23:14Z

I don't like myself anymore. -not that I ever really did, but now.. I just don't like anything about Melissa Tamayo.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-10-09T11:59:00

2008-10-09T19:02:43Z

what about people who don't care for music? do they feel weird about it?

betterxdaughter @ 2008-10-08T12:10:00

2008-10-08T19:11:25Z

Are you ready?.

All this bullshit [i guess what you call life situations] have been occuring lately. Not necessarily to me, but I've been around it long enough to let it affect me/bring me down and in a way, it did affect me directly. My family.

My friend Lis.. is a complete mess right now. Her Mother left for vacation to Texas around July & didn't call or anything until the end of August to inform her daughther [my friend Lis] that she will not be returning to California, and that she should move to Texas with her. Of course Lis said she would never move over there, and well... you would think Lis would get a job when she found out her mom wasn't returning. But she didn't. She would just sit on her ass watching T.V. and... I don't know. She just didn't make any effort. Trash would not be thrown out. Nothing.

Anabel, my good friend & her cousin, would come home from work to find the sink filled with dishes, the trash overflowing and Lis sitting on the lazy boy watching TV. That is infurating. Lis is extremely lazy. The laziest person I know, dude. Her being overweight shouldn't be an issue because I'm overweight as well, but when shit needs to be done, I do it.

Anyway. -So yeah. Her brother came over one day & told her she's going to have to find a place to stay because they're going to remodel the house & rent or sell it. Just like that. They have a small garage they rent in the back & he later on told her that she'd be able to rent it out with Anabel. Then the next day he came over & said he's not going to rent it out to her, so she'll have to find another place to live at. -I'm making this long, but that's the thing.. it IS long!

So on Saturday night, I invited Lis to my brothers house to watch the Dodger game and get her mind off things. She wanted to park in my brothers driveway and I didn't feel comfortable because he lives in a gated kind of community thing and I told her there was parking in the street just a block down. She was grumpy about my idea, but agreed. When we got inside, my brother told her to park in his driveway, it's not a problem. So she quickly goes for her car and puts it in the driveway. When we're going home, it's real dark outside & guess what?!

SHE BACKS UP INTO A CAR! And then... to make it worse, she drives off! And I was like "wtf are you doing? you can't leave! this is illegal! not only that, but my brother lives here! these are his neighbors! you can't leave" -and she was all crying saying she has to because she doesn't have insurance. I told her they're going to know anyway because it's a community & her car was the only one outside & it was parked in front of my brothers house. Sure enough, my brother calls & asks if we backed up into a car.

We go back, and the people were extremely nice because they could have called the cops because she hit & run without leaving any information. They just want the car fixed. So what is Lis going to do? She has no job, no money, no car insurance... my brother and his wife told her that they'd pay for it & she'd pay them back eventually. -But it came out to like $700. They do not have that kind of money right now. They just bought a house.

And besides, they shouldn't have to. It was her fault. The only reason they offered to help is because they know the situation Lis is in and she was really freaking out. She needs a job. like so bad. if i was her, i would totally be out there hussling. applying EVERYWHERE. but i don't know what she's thinking dude.

So there's a job fair tomorrow & for sure she's going. I'm making her ass go. I don't even want to be around her though, to be honest. It's like she's a downer. I'm so stressed out. Oh yeah, she also got her car taken away from her by her brother because it hasn't been paid in two months & they're afraid they're going to repo it.

Maybe Lis should go to Texas. Maybe she needs a change. I would take it, probably. Seriously. If things were going bad for me as they are for her, I would just fucking leave. start over in a way.

betterxdaughter @ 2008-10-03T21:51:00

2008-10-04T04:58:27Z

You learn to lie, you learn to cry,
You lose your faith and you get lonely
You bet it all, you lose control,
You learn to know love is always there
Learn to do what you're told
Eat the pleasures of pain
Hurts to know what to do
Live to do what you can
Recollecting the grounds of grace
Dragging out all of your past how brave

I've changed my life again
I've chosen joy instead
The skies come down and my hands shine
If I'm beyond somehow
The here and now reach out
To hold my faith and to find god
Love is always there.

♥

floja.

2008-10-01T03:02:00Z

i've been so sleepy lately. i took a nap around 12 PM & woke up close to 1:30 PM. The phone kept ringing while I was sleeping and I was actually rude to the callers! haha. I'm never rude, dude! I think Jessica just did it for me. She kept calling & was like "wtf. why are you sleeping?" So yeah. I'm always tired/sleepy. I don't know if i'm being lazy or if i'm simply depressed. i go to bed around 9:30 pm sometimes. i think it's because my friend Anabel comes over and uses my computer all night & I get bored of just sitting in bed watching tv and i just.. doze off. -I feel bad for falling asleep when she's here, but.. she's just using my computer, you know? It's not like we're really hanging out and stuff. I don't even mind that she uses my computer all night. Sometimes I do get a bit annoyed because I'm watching tv and she's on myspace listening to music and I guess I'm too nice or too much of a whimp to tell her to use the headphones.

I also wake up @ 5 am, so I can't go to bed real late either. -I don't know how real adults do it. I take showers in the morning in hopes of waking up. The shower does wake me up, but I get sleepy in class. lol. I'm so uninterested in school this semester. I was beginning to worry, but then I realized that I'm taking classes that don't interest me at all. So school will be kind of a drag this semester.

And I have all this online math hw, that's such a bore! >:p

crazy elephant lady.

2008-09-26T16:58:36Z

lately, i have become very interested in elephants. -i love 'em. Pics I've found of elephants. they aren't mine. I WISH!

This one is my favorite:

♥

i think i'm going to downtown today.

anyone?

2008-09-25T06:53:16Z

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a pessimistic or optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

just open your mind & we will always find a way.

2008-09-19T14:37:24Z

i'm sore. my back aches. my throat is sore. but my soul is ALIVE and HAPPY. fuck yes. now all i have to do for the rest of my life is catch live shows and i'll be happy. ♥